10. What settings are you shooting at? 

Red-necked Grebe sitting on a nest

• Get a group of photographers together shooting the same subject and invariably one of them will ask one or more of the others this question.  I believe it stems from a sense of insecurity where a less than confident photographer is worried that he’ll miss the shot that everyone else got.  Why not just ask me to send you my shots?
  • In a learning situation this could be a useful question although differences in equipment can make the answer moot.  But, in a group of peers, this question should never be uttered.

• Is there any photographer who doesn’t want to be published in National Geographic?  Why risk a severe beating by flaunting your awesomeness?

8. Dude! Dude! You’re in my shot! 

• And your feet are nailed to the ground?  Seriously?  Who calls someone “dude” in the first place?  Seriously!

7. I’m a Fine Art photographer. 

Fall morning at a beaver pond

• If someone can help me understand the difference between a “Fine Art” photographer and a portrait, wedding, landscape, photojournalist, sports or wildlife photographer, I might rescind this item, but the whole term strikes me as a bit pretentious.

• Maybe the pixel peeping will never quit, but do we have to examine each and every pixel of every new camera to find a flaw only evident at billboard sized prints? Besides photographers more obsessed with pixels than photos, who really cares?

5. …in these tough economic times… 

Ruddy Duck displaying on a lake

• Okay, this one isn’t specific to photographers, but I’m sick of hearing it.  I propose that the world set up a giant swear jar.  Every time someone utters the phrase ”…in these tough economic times…” they have to put one US dollar into the jar.  Not only will this reduce the use of this annoying phrase but the funds could be used to solve the current economic crisis.

• So your printer sprays droplets of ink at the paper? Wow!  That’s exactly what my inkjet printer does.
• Giclée is French don’t ‘cha know.  It’s pronounced “zhee-clay” and it sounds pretentious.  IMHO.

3. Oh that?  I can fix that later in Photoshop. 

Black Bear cub trying to get to the bottom of things

• Not only is it annoying to hear, it is the calling card of a lazy photographer.

• And that makes you a better photographer how?  Oh, that’s right–the Mark II finally introduces the “no sucky photos” setting, whereby the camera will simply not allow the creation of a poor photograph.
• If so, there are some people I know that would think their K-tel Autocapture 3000 Mark II was broken when it never let them take a picture again!

1.  Dude!  Did you get this shot?

Pair of goslings swimming in a pond

• This is a common question from the serial chimper.  You know, the person you’re out shooting with who is continually chimping their images (looking at the LCD and then pointing and saying ”ooh, ooh, ooh” when they see something they like). They’ll call out when they find a photograph they think is great and you might have missed.  And, don’t call me dude!